If I don't ever let anything go then I can remember every lesson I've never learned. Just to have something to carry with me. She'd ask him why we were hungry, clothes dirty, hair matted- she'd ask where we were, with teeth clenched, eyes wide to dry out the tears. Of course, he took these questions at face value. How much begging, explaining, resenting did she do?- That I'd go on to repeat. I can see myself shaking like her back then. Where am I? I'm starving but I've lost my appetite.